Our wedding song was 'Dream a Little Dream'.
Feeling a bit morbid today. This would've been our 13th wedding anniversary. Maybe it's the number 13, maybe it's because he's dead.
There was a time when I would take the day off from work, gather up all my wedding pictures, get cozy on the couch with a box of tissues, watch my wedding video and cry this unbelievable cry that I think my dog is scarred for life.
There was a time when I would take the day off from work, gather up all my wedding pictures, get cozy on the couch with a box of tissues, watch my wedding video and cry this unbelievable cry that I think my dog is scarred for life.
In the nine years since he's passed away I've learned this neat little trick where I keep all my emotions down in a place where I no longer go. The only time they seem to surface is when it gets too quiet, therefore I don't let it get too quiet ever, the tv stays on until I fall asleep.
In the pictures, we looked so young. It's crazy that he won't age...he will forever remain beautiful in that way we do in our twenties. What would he think of his wife now that she is middle aged? Is he angry at me that my life went on? Does he hate me for getting remarried? We used to think that we couldn't survive without eachother and I guess I let him down because I'm still here.
I started this blog to write about recovery from addiction, my 2nd husband's addiction to drugs and my addiction to him.
Just bad timing I guess....I've got other things on my mind.
Just bad timing I guess....I've got other things on my mind.
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