having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic:
I'm holding it in my hand. The 1 year medallion. It doesn't seem real. Time feels warped, as though I'm sitting here today listening to my husband's sponser speak and at the same time I'm sitting in a room a year ago listening to him speak. I'm coexisting in two places in time.
The first time I met "A" (my husband's sponsor) I was in a desparate way. My husband had completed rehab and detox and although he wasn't using he was still very much an addict.
Sometimes in life I believe that G-d is working his/her small miracles. "A" wasn't supposed to speak that day, I wasn't supposed to go with my husband that day. And yet it all fell into place like it was meant to happen.
My plan was to ask the counselors for help. They didn't offer me any. They simply said to kick him out. They offered for me to sit in on the meeting.
"A" spoke. I listened and for the first time I felt hope. Before "A" left he handed me his card and told me he would be my husband's sponsor if he was interested.
Last night as I listened to "A" speak I was in two places at one time. I could hear his words as though it was a year ago, when I was at such a point of despair. And I could hear his words one year later and in my hand I am holding my husband's one year medallion.
Surreal.
~
6 comments:
that's moving! congratulations. well done the both of you.
Thank you. I loved this post.
Very nice. What a touching way to put it.
Hey! My sponsor, when my was-band was using, would remind me to focus on the 11th Step. She said "Act in haste; repent in leisure." So I waited until I knew it was time to go. For me, that particular moment was when I had the moment of clarity that said--"I want him to get clean. He doesn't want to get clean." When I was able to experience the depth of my self-will, then I was ready to walk away.
Thanks for visiting 2dogs and the kind words. Keep trudging!
My husband had one year on October 27th. He receievd two medallions from all of the meetings he attends and on Sunday night, he offered me one - to carry as a reminder that he really is trying.
I am grateful to have found your blog today and grateful that your husband and mine made it a year.
Cat
Yay! What a beautiful post. I know that feeling so well of seeing past and present overlap and not quite being able to believe it's real.
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